we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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