she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
