I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
