i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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