i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
