Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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