so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize