Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
