Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
