He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize