i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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