Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
