So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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