I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
