suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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