its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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