How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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