I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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