Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
