before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish I only lived at night.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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