Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
