OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
