I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Hippo gnu deer
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
