i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
