Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
