It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
