My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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