my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
