No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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