Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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