there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
