We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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