When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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