I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
