I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
