Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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