she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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