Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
