Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
