Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
