My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
