it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
