yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
