dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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