At least make sure they are 18
Why
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
