Yo dont text me then not text me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
