dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
