ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
