I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
