Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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