Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
