wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
