I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
