Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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