the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize