That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
