If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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