Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
