Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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