She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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